Sunday, February 7, 2010

Circa 2008

Channel Zero

Garden State



If you are lucky enough to have something speak to you don't ignore it, we walk through the tunnel of love meets life blind and deaf wondering whats next instead of waiting to see whats happening now, and before you know it you are crucified and every thorn in your crown is a sentence, phrase, song, and even idea you just didn't hear and every nail piercing your through your tender skin and tearing through muscle and bone, is all the ways you could have altered your already fractured personality. while the sun goes down and you still hang from that cross made of your text books, notebooks, scribbles, and all the times you said sorry when you didn't mean it, to people who won't matter when the sun rises again. We forfeit to our demons and counterfeit our hopes and dreams just to make ourselves and the people we fall asleep next to at night feel better about life, you could fuck like animals until your raw and bleeding but the next morning's main attraction is school work and ice cream scooping, while you scramble for another night between the sheets and the smell of her hair in your nose while she rests her weary head on your boney shoulder.
Life becomes a multicolored hot air balloon, each color represents a different part of how it makes you feel, the red, is the color of my face every time you smile in my direction, the yellow is how lost I am all the time, black for out of place we can be all times, blue for how we all feel sometimes and green for new experiences. Every time you pull that chord and that hot shot of fire, comes out we go a little higher and every time i trip the fire falters and i slip, but you always catch me and i always make my way back up, but my shoes are worn in this time and I'm standing on concrete for once in my life. This time I'm not alone and never will be again, because I have you, and i have us and them and me. I have me.
So for anyone who's ever felt alone, and anyone who feels like they're the only one going through it, going through this, you are not alone. and if I ever have the fortune to speak to you, I want you, you and you and you and you and your entire family tree, that you are never alone, that I am here and if you ever want to talk, you'll always have someone to talk to. because if you can get in bed at night and say "I got to eat lunch and snuggle with someone i love while watching Kenan and Kel" your the luckiest person in the world. I have the fortune of saying I am that lucky. I am the Luckiest.