I’m in search of….what?
Probably nothing, after all what are we all searching for? searching for meaning? searching for accomplishment? searching for philly style macaroni and cheese? searching for the perfect beard? or maybe were all just searching for the unobtainable? like a pocket sized notebook with floral designs all over it, but that notebook could mean so much more to anyone and everyone involved, that notebook could hold thoughts forbidden by most, and completely inhumane. but yes, it is these thoughts that in fact keep us humane. i’ve grown tired of listening to most people, however i have met people this year unlike anyone i have ever met before and would trade it all in a second to wake up stress free for one day. i put myself through hell every day just to work toward that one sentence i have been craving my whole life, I’m proud of you, 4 fucking words that I would watch, incest driven cunnilingus amongst the Rego clan for. we work all day to sleep all night and then we work all day to drink all night on the weekends, such is life but maybe it is time for such change. sipping tea at 3am isn’t done enough and listening to Rives hasn’t punctured enough ear drums yet and looking at photos and paintings with your own 2 eyes, without anyone else’s eyes in your brain sure isn’t done enough.
All i’ve been asking for the last two weeks is how do you define art? how do you express yourself? what do you want people to feel when they see your art? well all i have learned is that i feel like the biggest hypocrite of them all because I have never completed art that anyone will ever feel, and i make this film to chase out bad memories and a longing for the old days and missing something or maybe someone i never even had. But to me i can only express myself artistically, because it is the only place in my life where i can never be judged because who is anyone to ever judge art? because art is not us, art is this, and this is why we all breathe. art is not a painting art is breathing and breathing puts oxygen in our brain and our brain is what helps us think, so in the end of it all, what is art? art is just a man making coffee and doing “The Jerk”, while his family eats raspberry pie.
now that im almost half way to 20, what do i want to be when i get older?
the person in that picture.